Care moments with your baby are the most important times for building relationships. This is a time to enjoy each other and learn together! Care moments include feeding, diapering, bathing, changing clothes. I will focus here on diapering and dressing your baby.
When you dress or undress your baby you are caring for his/her wellbeing. Imagine what it is like to be an infant and have someone dress you. Do they pull your arm? How do they turn your body? How do you experience this process? As you are building a relationship with your baby, it is best to view this process as something you do together, a mutual activity if you like. Instead of having the attitude “I am dressing you”, you can think, “We are doing this together”. At first the baby has no control over their movements and their body, but surprisingly soon they are able to participate actively in this process. Look at how 7 week old Lizzy is beginning to participate.
Some things to consider:
Slowing down! When we slow down and wait the baby has more chance of being an active participant. They have a lot to process and are learning many things through the myriad of sense impressions they are experiencing. Try not to hurry during these important Care Moments.
We treat routine/caregiving times as special moments where we give an infant our undivided attention. We ask for their cooperation if they are able to do so (lifting their legs and arms). We respect that an infant may prefer the person they are closest to, to help them during these routines. We do not rush the infant at these times, slowing down and communicating with them. From the Educaring website (also known as RIE)
Preparation: It’s important to have everything ready and at hand. You never want to leave your baby on the change table – and likewise it is best not to interrupt the process once you begin. It is sacred time! It is your time to connect with your baby! Some things to consider in preparing: where will you put the soiled diapers? Do you have spare clothes close by? The wipes? etc. You will find that soon enough you will have everything prepared at home for these care moments as well as having a change bag for when you are on the road.
Keeping baby warm: Young children benefit from being kept warm. Have the change table in a warm room so that exposing their naked skin is not shocking to the system. Preheat the clothes. Prepare warm wipes for cleaning your baby. Having a wool undershirt that is kept on the baby throughout the day and night helps keep a regular body temperature. This sounds like a lot but it goes a long way to keep your baby in a comfortable zone so that they can be free to engage with you; and it supports the growth of their bodily organs including the brain.
Positioning of the baby: The baby starts developing their body symmetrically and feels their body as a whole unit. So it is best to have the baby’s head and body in line with your own when you are diapering. Here is an example:
This facilitates communication and the child experiencing his or her body as a whole. In this photo you can see that the changing area is surrounded by a “fence”. When the baby can stand it is possible (and advisable) for the child to stand during care moments, including diapering. When a child stands they are less passive and can feel more agency in the process. It is a good way to transition to toileting too.
There are other ways to help the baby live in their body in a balanced way. If you have a change table where the baby lies across sideways, you can change the direction of his or her head now and again. Also, if you are bottle feeding it is advisable to feed on both sides just as if you were breast feeding.
Handedness: Most people are right-handed, and the human body is designed to have one hand, foot and eye that is dominant. You can encourage your child to settle their dominance on the right side from an early age through the way you dress and bathe them. For instance, if you always start on the right side this will be an invitation to the body and the brain to strengthen this pathway. In other words, it is not a process of forcing the baby to choose right-handedness, but through doing this you will strengthen this pathway.
To summarise, the baby begins by firstly experiencing their body as a whole entity. Then they begin to choose a dominant hand, a process which begins around 7-9 months of age, and usually stabilizes into dominance around 18 months – 2 years. However, it can take much longer, even up to age 6 years. Unilateral manipulation – the ability to use one hand – starts around 7 – 9 months, after the baby has learnt to roll from side to side and also often coincides with the development of a pincer grasp and crawling.
So there are many considerations! But the most important thing to remember is that care moments are times of connection, where your baby can actively participate in an activity. It can be a time for songs, poems, play and laughter or simply a time to enjoy your baby and being together!