For our children, the presence of a loving parent or carer builds a foundation of safety, surety and connecion to the world. The physical aspects of touch in relation to comfort and self-regulation is a crucial aspect of a healthy start to our human journey.
This beautiful photograph captures a reciprocal moment between father and child. Lovingly the father supports his child by holding his feet, and just as lovingly the child is gently touching his father’s face. Not only does the child experience his father’s hands, he also lives into the broad physicality of his shoulders, the sensation of being close and held by another. Warmth, smell and texture add to the sensory experience of touch too.
As adults we can consciously enhance our physical presence for the children in our care. Not only can we touch with care and gentleness, we can also live in our own bodies more fully. My suggestion is to use a method from Spacial Dynamics®, called “Press Back”. Simply put: place a hand on your body (for example, on the chest below the collar bones). Take a moment to experience this new pressing sensation that you are creating – from the outside towards the center of your body. The second step is to “meet” this by moving your mind to inside your body and creating a movement from inside out: towards your pressing hand. It can be helpful to imagine this pressing back like the breathing movement of the ocean – now it swells, now it receeds. It is helpful to do this in all parts of the body, particularly in the areas where you might discover that you have less awareness, a site of pain or previous injury for example. The goal is to fill out your physical form and experience your body in fullness.
When we are able to do this, we can become more of who we can be and be the best example of an embodied human being as we possibly can. Some people have reported feeling taller, more present, having less pain in particular targetted areas, and an increased sense of empowerment after taking time to do this exercise.
Imagine a young child who is absorbing impressions with heightened senses witnessing you in fullness. They imitate our actions, our intentions and our state of being. When we are more present in this way, children too can become more present, moving towards a growing sense of self.