I have been thinking about the role of touch in our lives. Rereading Emmi Pikler, I have been struck once again how the newborn infant is welcomed into the world by hands. Hands that hold him, care for him, love him. What a world we hold in the palm of our hands!
Do we touch our children enough? What about our teenagers? What do we convey through our hurried grasp of a toddler’s hand? Through our touch we can give warmth, love and even an invitation to our children. When we offer our open hands to a toddler, this can be an invitation which says “I am open, I am here for you, come to me”.
When children grow older, they might not seek physical touch from us in the same way. However, a kind hand on a shoulder or a friendly neck massage can be less confronting in the times when our children are wanting to keep their own space.
When we touch someone we meet them, we learn about ourselves and about them. But we are also touched in other ways.
We talked about “being touched” by a person, a book, a piece of music. By this we mean our soul has been touched by something outside ourselves. How do we remain open and be touched by the world? If we are quiet and peaceful inside and have interested in what’s happening around us we will find ourselves bathed by the beauty of the world, touched by kindness and nourished by nature. So taking a moment at the beginning and end of the day to cultivate inner quiet can prepare our souls and open our hearts.
For our children, too, it is helpful to teach them to have moments of quiet, of stillness. A moment of silence before a meal, a moment before you kiss them goodnight. These plant the seeds for the quietening of the soul so that they too can remain touched by the myriad of miracles around us.